Photo of Maria Winkler: Blonde long hair, glasses, white T-shirt with black dots, holding light blue scarf, smiling

That's me

Sensitive- Courageous- Creative

Immediately after graduating from high school, I followed my passion and studied psychology. Learning always came easily to me; I loved acquiring knowledge. However, I then became very physically ill, which led to a major rethink in my life .

This happens to many people in one way or another, but what was special about me was that I was comparatively very young. Back then, I was naturally very annoyed about it and considered it a curse or a punishment—today, I actually have a different perspective on it.

Now, at 40, I have already completed 20 years of process work, while most people still "function well" until their 40s/mid-40s and only then receive a wake-up call from their system, e.g., in the form of burnout or depression, so that they realize that they have not been in good contact with themselves and their needs for years and are now being asked by life to change this.

A significant part of providing quality support to others comes from working on your own issues. You can only accompany others to where you have already been yourself.

During this time I realized 3 crucial things for myself:

1. Health is the greatest asset

Without good health, suddenly nothing works anymore . Enduring, carrying on to please others, and paying with your own health are not options! Even if it might make you unpopular, there's no alternative to being true to yourself and not letting yourself down. Especially when everyone else is doing it.

Health became my top priority, with physical and mental/psychological health going hand in hand for me.

And for me, that includes healthy relationships! With others, but especially with myself!

Prioritizing also meant that I began investing in myself without reservation. I learned a great deal from others who had gone before me, and I was able to be accompanied by wonderful people. Yes, there are people who are committed to good, to growth, healing, and genuine relationships.

Today I am sure that investing in yourself will pay you back 100 times!

2. We pass on everything, good and bad

People are born good. That's my deep conviction. And everyone longs endlessly for connection, for contact, for openness, for love. And then things happen that lead them to lock their hearts tightly and throw away the key. Believing it will protect them. But it doesn't. And then, out of this hardness, they also hurt others. And as a result, healing and getting back in touch with oneself gets also harder.

When I understood the implications of transgenerational trauma and became a mother myself, I made a decision: It's over with me. I will not pass all these things on to my children.

As much as we love our parents, the energy must flow from top to bottom, from parents to children. We can't save our parents. We couldn't do that as children, and we can't as adults either. Although there are many people who try—out of love—until the end of their lives. We can't heal our parents. But we can have a tremendous impact on our children's lives. And thereby also ease the burden on our entire family line—if things can finally turn out well.

Our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents often lived in very difficult circumstances, perhaps even during war. They had their hands full just trying to survive. Especially since there were hardly any techniques available back then to effectively work on trauma and emotions. They did the best they could. We now live in a different time and in a safer environment and have the opportunity (a luxury not everyone in every country has!) to begin to work through it. So that things can move forward successfully.

""Dysfunctionality in families rolls from one generation to the next like fire through a forest, overcoming everyone in its path until one generation has the courage to turn around and face the flames."

(Terry Real)

3. We are all so similar

Cultures are very different, and yet, across all societies, people's inner systems are the same: Inner parts assume the same roles according to the same laws. The same inner dynamics exist. The same injuries, the same fears, the same love.

Making our planet a better place one day is a collective task. We need each other. Trauma has the effect of leading us into isolation, into separation from other people. And even if everyone has to start with their own wounds, the goal is to continually reconnect with one another and thus create a different form of togetherness.

Fun facts about me

I love dancing and have been dancing ballroom and Latin for 25 years.

I love colors, the brighter the better. But if I had to choose one, it would be orange. Orange, like the burning sun in space.

I always go to the seaside on vacation.

I have three children.

I love skirts, especially long and flowing ones.

I come from the beautiful Sauerland and love nature, forests and trees.

I don't believe in zodiac signs. But if I had to choose one, I'd choose the phoenix.